a few of many recent lower Florida Keys pelican poop movements; concerns over my near-death experience during Wednesday’s county commission meeting, comparison of Old Seven Mile Bridge to Statue of Liberty; Sancho Panza asks how all my marbles are doing? and weighs on men being with women and novels being predictable, and I weigh back with some strange paradise-mating tales of my own and a report of giving an exotic dancer a ride on US 1 and her view of young Key West protect and serves trafficking narcotics in Duval Street strip joints; Key West the Blue Newspaper’s Naja Girard teaches me more exciting lessons in the ways of French women; Bob O’Reilly virus video documentary slamming Key West provides intriguing karmic and spiritual acceleration possibilities; Connie Gilbert says only liberal denominations are paying any attention to the “Biblical” Christianity — eg. love one another, do unto others, etc., and some Key West counterpoints, including the vicious van dweller criminal Hatman’s invitation to his constitutional law seminar in a Key West court where he is being prosecuted for the evil crime of living in his own home; potential Hatfields & McCoy’s easement dispute discussion with old Wisconsin Badger friend who maybe thinks I’m still joking, but I ain’t

Feather Talk

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pelican pooping

I am trying to put together a new grinder pump vs. gravity post That might take a while, as I am covered up with emails from all quadrants on that topic. Perhaps the most attention-getting recent poop correspondence came from County Commissioner David Rice today:

David Rice

From: Rice-David@MonroeCounty-FL.Gov
To: Bgprevatt@aol.com
CC: Kolhage-Danny@MonroeCounty-FL.Gov; boccdis2@monroecounty-fl.gov; BOCCDIS3@MonroeCounty-FL.Gov; BOCCDIS4@MonroeCounty-FL.Gov; BOCCDIS5@MonroeCounty-FL.Gov; keysmyhome@hotmail.com and numerous recipients whose email  addresses I deleted to save them receiving SPAM and worse
Subject: Re: Grinder pits in detail photos
Date: Fri, 13 Dec 2013 12:57:46 +0000

I requested and wAs given a demonstration of the functioning of the system planned for use. This is not the system I was shown. I was very impressed by both the equipment and it’s operation. I would gladly trade it for my Marathon vacuum system (which cost me $9,500.00). We experience excessive I&I (saltwater intrusion) which significantly increases the cost of treatment. I don’t believe hat their is a perfect system, even gravity.
I recently got a call from Dr. Brian LaPoint, a big pine homeowner and a world recognized scientist who’s work is focused on water quality issues in many different countries as well as the Keys. He has found the low pressure (grinder) system superior from an environmental standpoint. He pointed out that gravity must go deep into the ground, below water level.
When there is a leak, and he has found that all systems have leakage problems, the tidal action both causes saltwater intrusion into the system and causes sewage to leak directly into the water surrounding the line. Additionally, he points out there is no mechanism which indicates the presence of a leak, except that the plant operator may notice that the volume which is entering the plant increases, caused by the salt water entering the system. This apparently gives the operator no help in finding the leak for repair.
He states that in his consulting around the world, he highly recommends low pressure, which is installed above the water level, is very reliable, and gives an immediate notification of any leakage.
** A complex problem with many perspectives.

Hope all of you have a great Holliday season.

I replied to David, copied to all:

Interesting. I saw in another email a while back that grinder pump systems and the shallower sewage lines they require also spring leaks which are impossible to locate. Perhaps the true ecological solution is each property owner has an on site treatment plant perhaps like the one Deer Ed, who publishes bigpinekey.com’s Coconut Telegraph, told me at the Sandbar meeting earlier this week he will use on his property, which is too far from a paved road to be tied into a central sewage system? That’s what I intended to do if I ever had enough money to build my “dream” green off-the-grid Keys home on my Little Torch Key land which I finally ended up selling a few months ago. I figured the county would give me a hard time, and I figured I would give the county a hard time. Although not about that land, perhaps there is still hope 🙂

County Commissioner George Neugent’s last email to me:



No I don’t have a grinder system, Sloan, it wasn’t my choice. However, if you or the city or FKAA want to pay to put one in I would be happy to have one because I understand the efficacy and efficiency of the product.

Everything said, even when someone requests confidence and you agree, it still winds up on the front page. I’m sure your patients/clients never read your disclaimer on confidence.

I replied:

George, this is far too important a subject to be viewed as confidential communication. All of Cudjoe regional is in your voting district. You are writing to me and others over your Board of County Commissioners email address, which is public domain once you send it out.

Let’s put all of that aside.

I understand your frustration over how much effort and time this has taken, and now this newest sewer war is waging. I have told Banks and his camp they waited far too long to object. I have told them a judge most likely will say they waited far too long. I have irked some of them by publishing stuff they wanted to keep among themselves, and by publishing some of their email addresses. I am no friend of someone who makes serious allegations of wrongdoing against someone, but does not want to be identified with the allegations.

My concerns are:

1. the durability and reliability of grinder pumps on residential property, especially where the homeowner is absent for long periods of time, and when there are long power outages such as have happened in the Keys following hurricanes.

2. groups of lower Keys residents have gotten changes over to gravity made in their geographic areas by being loud and persistent, and by even filing suit.

3. If they gained concessions – more gravity, less grinder pump, there must have been good engineering and equipment reasons for the concessions; otherwise, why make the concessions and they end up with an inferior sewage system to the one they first were offered?

4. If those groups were made concessions, all similar lower Keys areas should receive similar concessions. Otherwise, it’s discrimination.

One group which got concessions because they made noise is the one Todd German was in. I talked with Todd about that again today. He did not agree with me that every area should get similar concessions. However, he conceded, as he said did Kirk Zeulch back when he was FKAA’s lawyer, gravity in one area and grinder pumps in a similar or adjacent area frequently could not be sensibly explained.

5. I am not an engineer, George. I am not mechanically inclined. I know there are areas where grinder pumps make sense and gravity does not. But where gravity makes sense over grinder pumps, I feel gravity should be used even though it costs more.

Isn’t that what the 1% sales tax was passed to do? Sewer the Keys and fix bridges people drove over? What I hear over and over, George, including from Todd, is the County Commission had other things it wanted to spend that 1% sales tax money on than what it was passed by the voters to pay for. This is widespread perception, George, based on what I”m hearing.

What I’m getting at is, it looks to me there is plenty of blame to lay around. Blaming will not fix this. What will fix it is the lower Keys getting the best feasible sewer system available in each area. I believe that is what the voters intended to happen when they approved the 1% sales tax, and whenever they reapproved it.

I told Todd today that I feel like what I’m doing by writing into Cudjoe regional now is telling what happened, to leave a record for the future to ponder in hindsight. I told Todd I don’t feel what I’m publishing will make any difference, but it needs to be written down. I don’t expect agreement, mostly I expect disagreement – from all sides.

I have no dog in this dispute, George. I don’t even want to be involved in it. Being involved has caused a lot of physical distress in my liver and G.I. tract – the symbolism is literal. Nothing would please me more than to have nothing further to do with Cudjoe regional.

Alas, I don’t get to make those calls. I was told to get involved, so I got involved. I am not told to get involved in situations which doing okay. I am told to get involved in situations which have problems not being resolved, situations which are stuck and need unsticking.

It has been that way for me since the late 1980s. I know that makes no sense to most people. I suspect it makes no sense to anyone I know in the Keys. But it is that way nonetheless.

A distant North Carolina in-law, whose line of work is construction and development, and who, when his wife was alive, vacationed frequently in and loved Key West, at my request for his knowledge, if any, of gravity and grinder pumps, wrote this last to me today.


SLOAN – the grinder pump wastewater transport system has been used with success at the Peninsula Country Club in Cornelius, NC adjacent to a Hydro Electric lake, Lake Norman, for 20 some years. However, it should be noted that these up-scale homes are primary residences and for the most part they are on-line in constant use. I have not heard any complaints from the Realtors in the area.

Our only experience around the lake utilizes gravity feeds to a wet well pumping system, which works well here, but may not work around the keys due to the flat topo. Clearly, gravity is the best system. Gravity has been used from day one. Everything else is a compromise dictated by local topography and other conditions. There should be some sort of Utility Engineer Assoc. on line where one could get un-biased information. I am surprised that the commission has not charged the staff with producing a pro and con report of all possible systems. I thought that was the purpose of having a staff, was to have them gather information that would allow an informed decision by the elected officials.


Meanwhile, and hopefully more cheery, or at least more entertaining,


several distantly related, or not, happenings …

Key West’s Psychiatrist Emeritus Jerry Weinstock, M.D., who told me back in the day he treated every writer in Key West, replied to yesterday’s post at www.goodmorningfloridakeys.com:

psychiatrist interviews

Sloan: Please give details on your medical status ???!!!
Do Not understand what happened to you !!!

Pritham—one has to be CAUTIOUS of his activity
and plans —I am intimately familiar with negotiating
with him—-long history …

PIER IN THE WORLD—we were on it when traffic was minimal
in the late– 1950’s observed plenty of SEA_LIFE in the water.
Greatest exercise walking bridge in creation –fresh breezes -ocean
air fresh –great expanse of water and sky —incredible !!!!!!!!
what a wonderful project idea——!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE CARE—-JERRY
a walk on it –a balm for emotional health !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I replied:

My death and resurrection was allegorical, caused by my telling the county commissioners I would drop dead from shock if they didn’t all vote yes, in principle, to move forward with restoring Old Seven Mile Bride, and George Neugent told Danny Kolhage to vote No. and Danny told me to go to the emergency room and then he soon voted No, and I died of shock but later realized the county commission meeting was the emergency room, so to speak, because of what was going on in the meeting which threatened this or that person or persons, or the Keys.

Jerry wrote:

I thought so but —wanted to make certain.
7 mile bridge restoration is wonderful –repeating myself.
in fun and games !! Jerry

I wrote:

Seven Mile Bridges

Old Seven Mile Bridge is a national treasure, it is THE SYMBOL of the Florida Keys and is widely used as such. To liken restoring the part of it running from Vacca Key out to Pigeon Key to purchasing marinas, such as Hickory House on Stock Island and Rowell’s on Key Largo, is ridiculous. That stretch is used by many people each year. Not to continue that tradition would be akin to New York and USA not maintaining the Statue of Liberty and closing it to the public and telling them they can go out there by boat and view if from the water.

Jerry wrote:


Sancho Panza

Sancho Panza wrote yesterday:

You OK?

I replied:

My retired psychiatrist friend down here wrote asking much the same. I need to work on my comedy routine. It ain’t worth a shit, if I’m the only one who gets the jokes.

Doing OK for me always is relative, as in, relative to what, or which, or when, or where, or how, or if … ???? Most days I still wish I was not on this planet, although I seem to be getting signals that change is in the making, which I perhaps will like better than what’s been going on. Time will tell, it always does. But thanks for asking.

Sancho wrote:

Well, I actually read your post and even the one before to see if you were ill or something but I could find nothing… so I asked if you were OK! What I meant was more like are you holding on to all your marbles? *:) happy

Hope you are right about the good changes coming your way!

I wrote:

What marbles? They fell out of my noggin’ during the killer dark night of the soul circa 1997-98, and were replaced by whatever the angels called themselves stuffing between my ears. I seem to still be doing pretty good rocking boats. Gwad! I bet you’d found the adult dancer lady interesting, I stopped at a bus stop on US 1 today headed up to Marathon and offered her a ride up there. Women usually don’t get in my car when I offer them rides a bus stops, but this one was delighted to get a ride, no telling when the Key West city bus might show up, which makes a round trip to Marathon. Dang, the things I learned from her about how she is treated in clubs where she dances, and that isn’t all she does for men sometimes who are there for the view and whatever else. Most interesting, she said youngish KW protect and serves are trafficking in narcotics in these places, in exchange for protecting the owners and their customers, but not necessarily the dancers, and the owners and the customers, and the dancers, who know the deal, keeping mum about the cops trafficking in narcotics. She looked about 40, some miles on her, talked the entire time. I figured it was a big SIGN from above, but other than keeping my own cool and not being hyped up, I don’t yet know what was her message to me compliments the angels who moved me to turn around after I had passed her and drive back to the bus stop and ask if she wanted a ride? Didn’t seem like my type, if I still have a type, monk-ey that I am for 9 years in a couple of weeks, not counting one brief pickup by a biker chick in 2010.

Sancho wrote:

I bet it would not be that hard for you to “get” a woman… trouble is, what will you “do” with her 24/7? It’s not that easy living and sharing life too closely with other people… eventually, they begin to get on your nerves… the end never seems to live up to initial expectations… I never read any of your novels… most stories/films start out great, but after a while, the authors seems to run out of steam and just muddles through looking for and end to make sense of the begining … something similar to Hindu mythology of existence… maybe it reflects what happens to all things, including our body’s inexorable march towards decrepitude and our mind’s futile attempts at finding meaning…

I wrote:

Well, you will never know, will you, unless you read my novels? Back in 2001, when I was working sub rosa in a dear old Birmingham trial lawyer friend’s firm, I gave him the HEAVY WAIT manuscript, which would not be published until late 2006. He said he was afraid to read it because of what figured was in it. Yesterday at duplicate bridge in Marathon, an 85-year-oldish card shark, and I do mean card shark, who bought the paperback version from me last week, said she almost never reads books any more, but she is enjoying this one. She’s gotten to the place where they get married. I said, you got that far? For to get that far, she had to get through lots of stuff my dear old lawyer friend might not have been able to get through. She said yes, and she’s going to finish it because she likes it. She will be surprised at every turn. As will anyone else who reads it. No guarantee anyone will like it, but guarantee no one will know what’s coming next.

My experience living with women, let’s see, six of them since the angels shanghaied me in late 1987, is they had some trouble adjusting to being messed with by the angels, and I had some trouble with the ladies’ ups and downs which passed into me sort of like electricity passes from a transformer into a home. One thing was true, the relationship became as important as any other thing in which I was involved. I lost interest in other women, I was totally committed to the relationship, I very much wanted it to work out. Back in the day, I called those relationships “paradise mating” because that is what the angels called them. An opportunity for a man and a woman holding hands walking side by side back into Paradise together, which we were allowed to taste but not keep because first we had to go through the purifying fire together; otherwise, there was no way we would be able to stay in Paradise if we were put in there full time. No way to comprehend what I just described unless it happens to you, but the novel, and all of my novels, have the paradise mating thread, which is not of but is fully in this world.

Sancho wrote:

Where do you get a paperback version? A narrated version would be best… I like to do that(listen) while I drive!

I wrote:

Hmmm, had not considered a book on tape version, will poll the publisher about that. My third book, KILL ALL THE LAWYERS?, was made into a book on tape. Meanwhile, probably the quickest way to get a paperback version is to follow the Amazon links below.

Heavy Wait: A Strange Tale by Sloan Bashinsky

$9.95 Kindle Edition

Auto-delivered wirelessly

Other Formats: Paperback

Heavy Wait large image

If Amazon does not have a paperback in stock, then you have to order it from the publisher, www.publishamerica.com, which prints to order, 3-4 weeks for delivery.

Or, if you give me a snail mail address, I can send you a book on the hope that when you get it, you will send me $25, which will cover my cost of purchase from the publisher, plus shipping and handling aggravation – Key West’s two post offices are serious fun entertainment – and leave maybe $12 spare change in my pocket.

Probably early next yearish, it will be available in Spanish.

A petite unexpected hilarity in the Cudjoe regional sewer district grinder pump v. saga hatched when I wrote to Naja Girard last night re an article on said saga I had told her I would submit for publication in Key West the Newspaper edition todaywww.thebluepaper.com

cracked egg

Me to Naja:

I’m really wound up in this grinder pump thing right now, probably need some time to process and sift, and I feel way overloaded with it and it’s all jumbled up … but I repeat myself 🙂

I still like the “dark horse candidate” article – wwwwwwaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!

cry babies

Background story – last week, I submitted an article about City Commissioner Teri Johnston running for mayor next year, which took some specific pokes at City Commissioner Tony Yaniz, who has announced his mayoral hopes in next year’s race, and some general pokes at the rest of the city commissioners. Naja said she was not comfortable with her newspaper taking sides in an election. I said that’s what I’m for, I take sides, she just publishes the newspaper. She said, well, people will assume she agrees with me. I said, well, so what? I need a box of Keeenix, that was the best article I ever wrote, boo, hoo! She asked if I would prefer embroidered hankies? I said, boo hoo.


Naja replied to my email expressing my regrets that I would not be sending her a grinder pump article just yet:

Shall I embroider the hankies – perhaps? What is your middle initial?


I wrote:

Me think maybe French women are especially tricky in love, life and pursuit of male happiness.

cry babies

And then she goes and lets Tony Yaniz get mucho pre-campaign filing publicity in this article today,


Key West’s More “Colorful” Side Spotlighted on FOX NEWS: THE O’REILLY SHOW [WATTER’S WORLD]


Oreilly photo

Click on the photo to link to the FOX website and view the video

COMMENTARY:  Commissioner Tony Yaniz had this to say [on his Facebook Page] about the recent Fox News “Watters’ World: Key West Edition”:

“Of course we are all up un arms over the FOX-O’Reilly-Watters segment, but as has been posted and stated by countless sources in our island, the report was classic “Yellow Journalism” Do you think FOX was interested in showing that we are small-town-apple-pie-USA, a great place to raise your kids? No way! That kind of “news” doesn’t sell papers, euphemistically speaking! But at the end of the day we know what we are and who we are….and we love our community! My Dad used to say “Lo dice quien?” Says who! So I say, I’m glad that O’Reilly and his ilk view us that way, it means they won’t come here and we don’t want them anyways! Good riddance! Having said that, here’s an inconvenient truth we need to consider: many of our tourists see exactly what was in that report! That’s right! Unfortunately they don’t get to see our great community: our High School football games and the way we come together as a caring loving city! So, I say, we need to get a grip on this outrageous drunken behavior. I know that our KWPD does an outstanding job, and I have fought every year to increase their budget, but the solution lies in building a tent and toilet shelter outside the city limits and then cracking down upon public drunkenness and aggressive panhandling and working with the courts to put repeat offenders in prison! And while I’m on the soapbox the TDC and the Lodging Association don’t agree with me that we should use excess bedtax monies to provide more police, firefighter presence and more city crews to keep the city clean. Obviously, what they don’t get is that regardless of how many beautiful commercials are aired, once a tourist visits and has to deal with what was portrayed in that FOX report , they won’t come back, and they will tell their friends to stay away! You say?  [follow link to comment] […full article]

about which Bob O’Reilly slam of Key West, I wrote to Rick Boettger, of Key West,

Rick Boettger

who had forwarded it to me earlier this week:

Okay, I saw the video. Hilarious. The mayor, city commissioners, Chamber of Commerce, School Board and church people should love it, the rest of us dropouts, vagrants, drunks, loonies, criminals should hate it 🙂 , even if it didn’t come close to covering even 1/10 of the real Key West. Maybe our border patrol can introduce the next TV crew of ignorant pilgrims they send down here to keel-hauling
keel hauling

keel hauling
and fantasy-festing.
Fantasy Fest Duval Street 2

The border patrol ought to shift the ignorant pilgrim’s world view a tad,

Devil or Angel 2Fantasy Fest feline 2

or perhaps they would prefer volley ball?

Higgs Beach party

Then from someone else in the witness protection program:

witness protection

Sloan I know you will appreciate this.
(Sloan e-mail went to Rick B not Rick G. I crossed names in my email contact list.)
I was the one who communicated the info on the O’Reilly show to Rick but you I know will appreciate how I “happened” to hear this smear of a city.
I usually do not have an opportunity to watch tv and it is IMO both addictive (the news shows and some entertainment) and a waste of time. If I started I would waste way too much time. The only time I may watch tv is when I am on one of the bicycles in the Body Zone Gym. But I usually use other exercise equipment because there are usually females on the bicycles.

Well on the night in question I went to the gym and the bicycles were open (first time in a LONG time that happened) so I went to bicycles and I watched some of O’Reilly but was about to leave when I heard that thee next segment was going to be about Key West, So I stayed and was just horrified at how Key West was presented.
So you see my catching the show and then communicating it to Rick was another example of sheer coincidence.
You need not publish this or if you do you can redact my name. I deserve no credit for discovering the show. It was as I said (tongue in cheek) pure happenstance.
But at least it followed the slogan of Fox News in that it was for Key West both “fair” and “balanced.” (Again my tongue is planted very firmly in my cheek!)


I replied:

Did it occur to you that perhaps you should give serious consideration to bolting from the Republican Party into FREEDOM?

Saying that another way, did it occur to you that it was no coincidence that you sent it to the wrong Rick, who just naturally was compelled by the angels who had you send it to the wrong Rick, to send it on to me?


He wrote:

Oh, you mean like Charlie Christ? [previous Florida governor who developed habit of switching parties]

I wrote:

Re-read what I wrote. I did not write bolt to another party. I wrote bolt to FREEDOM which is totally incompatible with another party. Maybe attending church and being a Christian also is fucking up your thinking and perceiving.

He wrote:

No, Sloan clearly the angels led me to the show as I hardly ever use the exercise bicycles and when I do the tv is usually on CNN not Fox so it was certainly not just a coincidence that I viewed that segment and was ;ed to do something about it.
By the way, I am quite certain that in his book “Killing Kennedy” it can be proved that O’Reilly lied about where he was when a witness in the JFK case committed suicide. That lie affects my opinion of the man. (In a nutshell he states he was in Florida about to interview the man when it can be established quite clearly that he was in Dallas when the man killed himself. (Some claim he was murdered. It s a pretty ironic story. This man, a so-called “White Russian”, had dated Jackie Kennedy’s mother after her divorce and Jackie called him “Uncle Jack” but in 1963 he became Oswald’s best friend in Dallas.
Back to the smear of Key West, we of course both know that there are some people living here like those interviewed, e.g. selling food stamps (illegal of course) to buy alcohol. But those people and lifestyle are hardly representative of the City.
In my opinion, no one who saw that program would ever want to visit Key West.
I am concerned about what can be done to present a view of Key West that is both fair and balanced.
I see a Key West where most of the citizens are caring and wolling to help those in need.
I see Key West as still a literary and creative place, e.g., the Literary Seminar, Sculpture Key West, poetry guild, etc
I see Key West as a place seeped in history, including the Little White House that annually sponsors very significant seminars on the history of the late 1940s and early 1950s that still affect us today
I see Key West with a strong religious component including if I recall one of the first Jewish and first black churches in South Florida.
Not all homeless people are as depicted in that show, You often write very forcefully about that. Some are, we both know that but to only show Key West in the light of the people it interviewed is certainly not balanced, nor is it fair!

He wrote again:

Well you surely know that Pastor Carey is far far from a right-wing Republican. I like Glad Tidings in part because it is so racially and ethnically diverse, largely due I am sure to Dr. Carey’s leadership.
Its theme developed by Dr. Carey is “committed to our community.”
So my church attendance does not affect my politics.
I do note however that the Bible talks of Jesus eating with the “publicans and sinners”. Now the publicans were of course the forerunners of the Re-publicans while the sinners . . (Hey, it’s just my bad joke, like the old one :”Not all Democrats are horse thieves but all horse thieves are Democrats.”
I by the way strongly agreed with Jack Bridges that one ought be allowed to be a Republican officer holder and still vote for an occasional Democrat. And of course we agree that it is ridiculous to have positions such as the Mosquito Control Board elected on a partisan basis any way.
I see the Republican Party as the party of Abraham Lincoln, .Theodore Roosevelt and believe it important to try to continue that tradition.
Best to you, Sloan. Little time right now for dialogue, am working on a national project that could be important and nothing to do with what we have previously discussed,

I wrote:

“By the way, I am quite certain that in his book “Killing Kennedy” it can be proved that O’Reilly lied about where he was when a witness in the JFK case committed suicide. That lie affects my opinion of the man.”

O’Reilly is a joke on himself and he doesn’t even have a clue of it. Yet it took you becoming convinced that he lied about where he was on that day for you to change your opinion about him?

Maybe O’Reilly’s video, which definitely fucked Key West over royally and will get wide online viewing I imagine, is some of the city’s karma for the way it treats its homeless people. Mainstream Key West people are made out in the video to be as bad as, or worse than, the city’s homeless people. Perhaps the Republicans should adopt the Catholic practice of ex-communication, but then, that might result in the party of Lincoln, which would make Lincoln throw up if he were here today, have to excommunicate itself.

Maybe Pastor Carey should come to Sunday service disguised as a homeless man and see, in that way, how well Jesus in the Gospels would be received at Glad Tidings if he showed up there this Sunday.

Jesus with leper

Sorry you have to run, this was starting to get interesting.

Well, why not drag a bit more karma into this festive today?

Connie Gilbert 2

Replying to the recent lower Florida Keys sewer grinder pump update with some interesting, for me, revelations; conservative Christian from my Alabama past and I discuss Iron Bowl and Divine Intervention therein throwing Auburn into the BSC championship game and Alabama into purgatory perhaps; a curious road rage tale which started in Key West and ended up there, after numerous totally unbelievable stops along the way post at goodmorningkeywest.com:

Connie Gilbert, of Key West, wrote:

Interesting post.
1) I think grinder pumps are intended (by the engineer gods or whomever) ONLY for places where gravity pumps totally would not work. The county is being penny wise/pound foolish, on the taxpayer pound.
2) Loved Craig’s lament re “liberal denominations” et al. My take is that these days only the liberal denominations (some of them, like UU and Unity not even specifically Christian) are paying any attention to the “Biblical” Christianity–eg love one another, do unto others, etc. etc.
Happy Holidays.

Connie also sent:

a rant about the only cure to prostitution is to abolish it. I leave for you to open the link and read it.

I replied:

Recently, a fellow who lives in his van and is being prosecuted by the City of Key West for it,


told me he was going to UU Key West to again make a pitch to the local ACLU chapter to step in and back him and provide him ACLU legal assistance. I said I might like to be there for that but I was banned from that church forever.

This man’s van is his home. It is the only home he can afford. The city, that is, the city commissioners and mayor, some of whom are your friends, are telling this man he cannot live in his home in Key West. They are telling him to give up his home and become homeless and sleep nights at KOTS [the city’s homeless shelter]. He as much was told this by city employees, who work for the city commissioners and mayor. I personally feel prosecuting him is an abomination, the work of the devil in the biblical sense. I personally feel the ACLU ought to be doing all it can to help him.

Meanwhile, I wonder how many liberals voted for Barack Obama in 2012, after seeing him accept the Nobel Peace Prize while waging the two idiotic evil wars of George W. Bush & Co.?

I have not heard again from the conservative Christian Craig who was my brother’s friend and very much liked by my mother, too. She and Craig’s mom were good friends. I wondered if his and my Auburn-Alabama football conversation would drift around to US at war and where he stands on that? I know where Jesus stands on America at war today, and where he stood on it in the Gospels …

The day after I arrived penniless in Key West in December 2000, I attended Unity of Key West’s Sunday service. That led to my meeting its lady minister, which led to her and me having a private conversation, which led to her offering me their outbuilding in which to sleep at night.

Angela and I continued to have private conversations. The congregation was not happy with her, she was causing members to leave and attend the Unity church in Marathon. They had a big mortgage payment, that was not compatible with members going to church in Marathon. Angela felt she was doing what needed to be done, I told her to hold her course.

By and by, because I was unaware, I came to the outbuilding early one night to turn in. I man came in and found me there just about to go to sleep. He was part of a 12-Step group which met in that room one evening a week, which I did not know. He was a Unity member. He became very upset. I told him Angela had told me I could sleep there at night because I had no place to do that. He remained upset, got a bit religious on me. I said I was a minister. That twisted him around a bit.

I got up and picked up my stuff and left. I hung around until the meeting was over and they were gone, then I went back and spent the night there. I told Angela what had happened. She’d already gotten an earful. She told me to keep staying there at night, but to stay out of their way and sight. That’s what I did.

They decided to fire her, mostly because of what they didn’t like before I had showed up. She told me that had happened to her at another Unity Church on the mainland, and that church still had not found a minister to replace her. Unity KW fired her, and then they announced a Sunday service to begin the healing.

One of the members went up front and said they were open to suggestions. They needed help. Another member got up and told a story of a village which had a person nobody liked, and finally they tried to run him out of the village. But another village member came to his side, not because he liked him, but because he felt the rest of the villagers was making a mistake. The other villagers relented. Everyone at Unity that day seemed raptured by that story, and none of them seemed to get it that it meant they were supposed to keep Angela.

I went over to the fellow who had said they needed help, were open to any and all suggestions. I explained to him that the help had come right before their very eyes and they had not seen it, so here I was explaining it to him so he would see it. He looked at me with dull eyes. Who was I? The homeless man Angela had let sleep in their outbuilding. I did not sleep there that night, or again. It did not seem okay for me to do that with Angela gone.

Hurricane Wilma flatted that church, but spared the outbuilding. The minister who took Angela’s place gave me the creeps. I attended a service at their new location and the energy gave me the creeps and I got up and left. The energy in UU Key West gave me the creeps, but I attended because it was a spiritual assignment given to me by the angels. I got the creeps in lots of churches I was sent into. I do not see churches as solutions despite the humanitarian work some of them do, including some conservative churches.

Another weird thought came to me. Say prostitution is abolished by law. What then happens to women caught being prostitutes? They are tried, convicted, put in prison where like-sex between inmates is rampant and not always voluntary? They are stoned in public? They are burned at the stake? I can’t imagine the First Amendment allowing only criminal prosecution of men who use women prostitutes. And what about women who pay men for sex and same sex prostitutes and their clients?


Here is Hatman’s (Shadharoba Rodd’s) invitation to the public to attend the Inquisition. Might be an interesting and perhaps sometimes amusing adventure constitutional law, based on private conversations I’ve had with him.


This is current as of today, Thursday, December 12, 2013.
A hearing will be held in Judge Miller’s courtroom F, at 9AM, Tuesday, December 17th, Emoji
at which time arguments will be made for and against the constitutionality of KW city ordinance 70-130, “Lodging in vehicles”.  If anyone wishes to attend, please feel free to be there.

Not wishing to leave any dear readers, critics or disbelievers, who braved to get this far into today’s post, thinking the Florida Keys and Key West (aka The Asteroid Belt, aka The State Mental), are the only places in the US where weird shit happens.

Wisconsin badger

yesterday an old dear Wisconsin Badger friend, whom I met when he moved to Birmingham maybe around 1980-ish for a few years, wrote to me yesterday about a lake home getaway he is buying near where he lives up there in Siberia. Turns out there are some interesting problems with a private easement, which entail it not being where it is supposed to be, a neighbor’s buildings sitting on the easement, another neighbor’s interest and disinterest, and all sorts of snafus in prior real estate transactions which did not ferret out the easement difficulty, yet no problem, he will sally forth and get everybody to agree to what he sees as the perfect solution.

I wrote to him:

Hatfields & McCoys

In the annals of legal history, boundary line and easement disputes have been some of the most colorful and often nastiest and gut-wrenching cases; perfectly sane people go rabid or catatonic or practice shunning or shooting out bedroom and living room windows with rifles, rocks, etc. I ain’t joking, amigo. The tale of woe with your poor mangled dog and the helpful veterinarian now comes to mind. At the very least, don’t buy this place expecting anything to change to your liking after you fork out the purchase price. Hopefully, you get everyone involved agreed in writing to the solutions amenable to all, drawn up by a lawyer who knows what he/she is doing. Preferably, YOUR lawyer. It ain’t exactly easy to move an easement, but it can be done, but other landowners through whose boundaries the easement travels also might have to agree in writing. Then are county or city ordinances to check out to see how they might or might not be compatible to what you want to do to fix this, or might or might not be compatible with what now exists. The tale of woe with your poor mangled dog and the helpful veterinarian now comes to mind again.

I might be interested in hearing of the seller’s Realtor’s reaction to this email. Maybe I should frame it, in case there is later need for it.

Like, you buy the place and some day later decide to sell it, or you have died and gone to Badger heaven and your estate wants to sell it, or your wife and/or kids want to sell it, and they have to tell the buyer what all the easement thing is about, what got fixed, what maybe didn’t get fixed, and they go talk to a lawyer and he is me reincarnated and I pull out the old email from back when and tell them this is why I saved the email, so they will be nice to me and pay me plenty for trying to fix their problem, if it didn’t get fixed, preferably, before you bought the place on the lake.

He wrote:

Ha Ha… I know the road may be bumpy, but think there was some negligence on the part of both the neighbor and his lawyer when he bought an adjoining property west of his home a year ago, at which time the easement came up. (according to the land title office) My sense is it was glossed over, lost in the stack of closing papers, etc. Is ignorance a defense? I think not!

And there’s another small wrinkle which is worth considering. The fellow whose vacation home is at the end of the road (and owns the vacant property where I’d like to think we could move the easement to) has an easement over “our” property. You see, the road crosses “our” property… The family which subdivided this land did ONE HELL OF A JOB! I hope to know in the next day if this thing transaction will be peaceful or turn confrontational… Will keep you informed… And yes, if we get everyone to buy into a resolution (peaceful or not), my lawyer will be involved.

I wrote:

Perhaps I was mistaken in likening your upcoming adventure to the money-grubbing veterinarian who fleeced your wallet via your wife’s and daughters’ emotions over their beloved mangled pooch, bless his wonderful soul, deserving all out heroic efforts to save him, instead of simply let him be put out of his great misery, which only wold have increased exponentially if the vet somehow had saved his life. Perhaps I should have just told you to sally forth and pretend you had never written to me about your upcoming McCoy and Hatfield adventure. Perhaps I should have just kept my big mouth shut. Perhaps this new adventure will inspire you to go to law school. The world can always use another lawyer.


He wrote:

Humor aside, I’m not walking away just yet… The sellers (and I) first thought “great, this easement is private, not shared and increases the property value, etc. etc. etc.”…

In reality, the easement they THOUGHT they had does not exist and that which they legally believe they/we have may be contested…

I see no parallel with being fleeced by the vet, unless you are trying to paint me as someone who stumbles through life as a chump… 😉

I wrote:

The fleeced by the vet metaphor refers to mental, emotional, spiritual pain and suffering and spending heap wampum buying this new lake house might entail.

cry babies




About Sloan

Darn, that would take a while. Try the autobiographical pages in the header. Ditto for header menu pages at www.goodmorningbirmingham.com. Hatched and raised there, eventually I ran away from home. Here's a short list: Born 1942; male; spoken for; accused of all sorts of imaginable and unimaginable things, perhaps some true. Live on Key West of Weird asteroid. Publish something most days at goodmorningkeywest.com, been at that since July 2007. That's heaps of catch-up reading, probably not recommended.
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