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A former Keys snowbird friend wrote yesterday:
After getting there, I saw on the jury summons form they had mailed out, that anyone over 70 could get out of jury duty, but I decided to not ask for the old-age excuse. I was chosen for a venire panel, but after lots of questions by the judge, and then by the prosecution and the defense lawyer, all but 6 jurors and 1 alternate juror were struck and the rest of us were released. I had wondered, perhaps vainly, if I would finally serve on a jury? I wondered in vain.
Todd German, of Key West, wrote yesterday:
We will commiserate together, can’t imagine lawyers leaving two lawyers on a jury.
Not sure I told you, Ed recently got me appointed to the UPL board.
I am community member.
UPL stands for what?
Unlicensed Practice of Law
Does this mean I have to stop giving free legal advice to people who can’t, or won’t, pay licensed attorneys?
Are you serious? Or is this a joke?
I ask, because I never heard of a lay person being on an unlicensed practice of law board.
Do you know me to joke?
Seriously, I’m serious, I am the community representative.
It is a complaint driver board and they haven’t had a complaint in years.
I wrote today:
Whew! I guess that means I also can keep giving the city and county commissions and school district free unwelcome legal advice.
I sat next to Dent Pierce yesterday in the courtroom where all the prospective jurors were sent to sign in and wait to see if our names would be drawn to be on jury venires. Dent has long been in charge of Higgs Beach for the county. He said he agrees, the Australian pines in the playground all need to come down, if the playground is to remain in its present location.
He told of a big Aussie pine at the East Martello back in time, which he and another man could not together put their arms around. The tree was hollowed out completely from termites. No way to know what the inside of the pines in the playground are like, he said. As I recall hearing, the limb that fell and nearly hit a small child was damaged by termites.
Of course, it was merely a coincidence that Dent and I were called to jury duty yesterday and sat next to each other.
If the county leaves those trees in that playground, and another limb falls, and a kid is hit, or an adult, the county will wish it had taken my free legal advice.
Tell Ed Scales and the UPL Committee, back in Alabama, we would call it the Unauthorized Practice of Law Committee, and my unbill for legal services unrendered is in the mail.
Ed got excused pronto by using the lame excuse he had to fly to Tampa today, or somewhere in that general direction. You can read about my adventure in jury duty in today’s post.
P.S. Voicemail this morning, one from you, one from Sandy Downs saying she was there yesterday for jury duty also, but came in late and didn’t see me. That, too, was a coincidence, as was the county choosing her tree company to deal with the Aussie pines in the playground. She said she looked forward to hearing about my jury duty.
Dent also had a few choice words for the playground being put where it is,
and for the other changes to the park that are planned. He said he is retiring in about a year and a half and is hoping he is out of there and doesn’t have to deal with it.
Looks to me, God has the county surrounded about that playground, but does the county know it? Maybe if they just remove the fence, let anyone use the kiosks like used to happen, God will take care of the trees and everyone under them.
Naja Girard, co-publisher of www.TheBluePaper.com, wrote yesterday:
Noticed you had tried to call on Thursday. Also saw your submission but was so behind I chose to simply include your interview with Jenna.
Just wanted to let you know I’m not purposefully ignoring you. Just super busy…
Sloan Bashinsky, a frequent contributor to Key West The Newspaper’s Island Voices section, was recently interviewed on Good Morning Florida Keys With Jenna Stauffer[WEYW Nineteen] about his views on homeless issues. [Sloan was formerly homeless living on the streets of Key West.] [The video below is Part 2 of the interview. See Part 1 here.]
I was feeling jilted, again, again, again – the theme of my new novel I never started writing, again, again, again.
I got to thinking maybe what I submitted didn’t work well with Jenna’s interview, it was long and controversial. Let me sleep on it, might be something else comes to me for this week.
Was struck from a jury venire today, I suppose I should be glad, it was a D.U.I. case. The prosecutor asked me if I didn’t write for The Blue Paper?, in conjunction with my being Dennis Ward’s friend and my having strongly supported him for State Attorney in 2008. I said Cooper didn’t like me at all, I never wrote for The Blue Paper when he had it, but I have written for it since it changed hands, but not Cooper kind of articles. When the prosecutor seemed to get mixed up about my backing Ward in 2012, I said stuff had happened and I was neutral in that race, did not vote in either the primary or the general election, because I didn’t like any of the candidates for the office. Maybe that saved me from being on the jury. Maybe it was my charming personality that saved me. Maybe it was being an ex-practicing lawyer that saved me. Maybe it was something less flattering that saved me. Maybe it was my telling the lawyers and the judge my not being able to drink anymore, because I am borderline diabetic and booze makes me ill, that saved me. I nearly said in court that I felt (angels told me) Cooper had been framed by the KWPD for D.U.I., and I published that at my websites. Maybe I should have said it today in court. The case I was there for was made by the Sheriff, not KWPD. From the questions asked by both the prosecutor and the defense lawyer, the case hinged on the defendant refusing to take a breath test and claiming he only had one drink before he drove, and deputy testimony that he seemed impaired. I grew up in an alcoholic family, but did not offer that information today, and was not asked about it. I felt I would decide the case on the facts, whatever they were. Back where I come from, you decline a breath test, you pretty well get convicted. That was before breath tests’ reliability came into question. That, too, was going to be an issue in the case today, based on a voir dire question from the defense lawyer: Would we be prejudiced against the defendant because he refused the test because he didn’t trust it to be reliable, the defense lawyer asked us? The prosecutor objected to the question, Judge Peary Fowler sustained the objection, but, of course, the jury will never forget the question and the prosecutor objecting to it. Clever lady defense lawyer from upper Keys in private practice. I imagine the defendant will have to take the stand to make that defense, unless he told the arresting deputy that is why he would not take the breath test, and then it can be gotten into evidence through the deputy. For me, refusal to take the test would not go well for the accused, given state law requires the arresttee to be read a statement saying, if the breath test is refused, the arrestee is presumed impaired in later administrative and criminal proceedings, is how I understood the prosecutor’s questions and comments. I don’t recall if Dennis Cooper took a breath test, but I am convinced Officer Sanchez, I think was the KWPD officer’s name, stalked Dennis and set him up. Someone looking sort of like Dennis, without his beard, was in the audience today. Maybe it was Dennis, in the witness protection program, like me without my beard.
Later yesterday, I bumped into my friends Onett and Penny Johnson on the watefront near Half Shell Raw Bar. They owned and operated Sippin’ Internet Cafe for several years, and sold it a few months ago to another friend of mine, Michael Kinneer, who had worked for the School District. Like me, Michael is an ex-lawyer. Unlike Michael and me, Onett and Penny are people. When I mentioned being struck from a D.U.I. case, Onett said the same had happened to him after he told the judge and lawyers that he had read the breathalyzer test was not reliable. I dunno, if I ever get stopped for D.U.I. in an alternative reality, I just might refuse to take a breathalyzer test for the same reason, and I would state my reason and make sure the officer wrote that down on his/her report before hauling me off to jail. That way, nobody could accuse me of later coming up with the idea, or my defense attorney coming up with the idea, that the reason I refused the breathalyzer was because I did not trust it to be accurate. I bet they ain’t got nearly enough breathalyzers for Fantasy Fest.
Meanwhile, last night I took in open mike at Harpoon Harry’s, on Caroline Street,
begins around 7 p.m. Several very good guitarist/singers went at it. In the middle of it, I was invited to recite poetry. I went to the mike, said, I had two poems, but, first, I’d like to tell an X-rated story. The audience seemed interested. The story went like …
About a week ago, I called an old friend in Birmingham, somewhat older than I. He is under the care of a posse of doctors, all giving him pills for various ailments. I came to calling him the bionic man, even though he is made of chemicals instead of metal. He said the next day he had three doctor appointments, the first with his cardiologist. He said the doc had him on Wafarrin to thin his blood. He said Wafarin is rat poison, but he gets a diluted version. I told him to tell the doc I said to stop giving him rat poison and give him Viagra and put him in a cat house. My friend split his sides laughing. I made him promise to give me a report of the visit with the doc. The report was the doc said for him to tell Dr. Bashinsky that he was trying to save the patient’s life, not kill him. My friend said he told the doc that he would go out with a big smile on his face.
I told the audience that, just a few minutes before, I had gotten into a conversation with a fellow eating at the counter, who said some things that caused me to tell him about my friend taking rat poison and what I had prescribed instead and what the doc had replied to my prescription. The fellow at the counter said Viagra first was developed to reduce blood pressure, then the side effect was discovered, which increased blood pressure elsewhere. I said, damn, the doc lied to my friend, I need to call him and tell him Viagra will keep him alive while he is in the cat house. Which I then did. My friend split his sides laughing. I made him promise to provide a report of the quack’s response to my allegation that Dr. Bashinsky said the quack is a prevaricator and is trying to keep the patient from living a long, happy, loving life. My friend said he would pass that along to the quack, and provide a report.
I did not tell the audience that my friend is married to the same woman he married decades ago. Some things would screw up a great story, if they were told in the beginning.
I said the two poems probably were related, the first probably was the seed for the second. The first came in the fall of 1993, the second the following spring:
Black is white,
White is black,
When they fuse,
The sacred prism
through which souls are refracted
into their elemental parts,
purified in Holy Fire,
and sent on their way
to not even God knows where,
simply because they are all
unique emanations of God,
A woman in one of the booths said she would clap, but she was holding her little dog and he might not like that. I said, no problem.
After me, a musician let fly with his own songs. He said he had about 90 he never had recorded. He should get them recorded.
The fellow who told me about Viagra being created to reduce blood pressure said he is from Cape Cod, spends a lot of time there, and in Tampa, and is starting to hang out in Key West. He said there is a huge tick problem on Cape Cod. 80,000 cases of Lyme disease. He said he and other people developed natural tick and mosquito repelants, which the CDC really liked and wanted to get spread around. I said I once knew a naturopah in Sandy Springs, above Atlanta, who had a homeopathic remedy which had cured my second wife of Lyme disease not long after we were divorced. I said the naturopath had gotten the homeopathic remedy from Germany, where he got most of his homeopathic remedies. Senneca Anderson was his name, Longeivity Health Clinic the name of his business. The fellow from Cape Cod said he will look into that, because doctors are treating Lyme disease patients with antibotic cocktails, which are horrible for the immune system. I said the CDC, the FDA and the AMA will not like hearing about a homeopathic remedy for Lyme disease. He should get the remedy and test it on Lyme disease patients, and if they recover, get their doctors to say they recovered, then present it to CDC. He said CDC has great labs. I said no lab will find in a homeopathic remedy what makes it work, because all that’s in it is water and brandy and the energy of the remedy, which is metaphysical, for want of a better word, and cannot be measured in a lab.
Here’s the fellow from Cape Cod’s contact information:
All the while, Fantasy Fest was revving up a few blocks away on Duval Street.
That wasn’t all what was revving up.
In a dream way before dawn this morning, I was talking to someone about getting a lot of T-shirts made. I wonder what that might be about?
Maybe this below for the front, with “The Second Coming” under it,
Or maybe Mustang Salley below for the back, with the same wording under her:
Or maybe this gal, who burst onto the scene in 2009 at Salute, and interrupted novice Craig Cates’ mayoral candidate debut at Hometown! PAC’s call to candidates.
Meanwhile, reports the Key West Citizen today, Saturday’s Zombie bike race attracted 7,600-8,000 riders, plus another horde of spectators, far more zombies and zombie worshipers than anticipated.
Hard to imagine any self-respecting zombie not wanting Key West to have a nude beach.
Impossible to imagine any self-respecting Fantasy Fest reveler not wanting Key West to have a nude beach.
A nude beach in Key West will be a big shot in the tourist development economic arm, a tribute to Adam and Eve in Eden, and wholesome all-American competition for Duval Street.
Imagine the photos of Miami’s Haulover Beach above are the upper half of Key West’s Smathers Beach below.