the perfect batshitcrazy hit job, and some more amateurish ones – Florida Keys strains

bat shit crazy

Re the batshitcrazy instigator, who would be Erika Biddle, canonized in yesterday’s paying the price, and smart pills – Florida Keys and a bit beyond  post,

Photo: "paying the price, and smart pills ? Florida Keys and a bit beyond" - www.goodmorningfloridakeys.com, 6 Feb 2013

an amigo, who bills out as NaGa Hick, or Redneck, depending on phase of the moon, I suppose, wrote to me:
Is this your new Love ?
I wrote back:
Naaaa, she’s married.
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Born and raised in Montgomery, Alabama, graduate of the University of Alabama, life and a divorce and some jealous boyfriends and other life upending near-deathish events caused this fugitive to emigrate to North Georgia and take up with a bunch of locals, and the rest, including how I finally met him, which itself might be a novel, so to speak, is history …

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NaGa Hick then threw this at me, without the pic, which I later dug out of my treasure trove hope chest:
Redneck mystic humor horsing around today, without all that much mystic ...</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Sloan- </p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Got a big chuckle out of your blog today..."Personally, I would like to be bumped off" ! </p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Can you figure out a way I could do it and make you a martyr and me not get caught? </p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Just leave me a small inheritance for my fee ! ! ! "ngahick"</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>===================</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Born and raised in Montgomery, Alabama, graduate of the University of Alabama, life and a divorce and some jealous boyfriend and other life upending near-deathish events caused this Alabama redneck to emmigrate to North Georgia, and the rest, so to speak, is history ...</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>===================</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>After deep meditation on the situation, I replied earnestly:</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Here's how you can do it without getting caught. You tell your redneck missus and brood and buddies that you are going down to your place way out in the country, where you like to run your bulldozer, for a while. Instead, head on down here with one of your less-beloved, preferably most indistinct and oldest of your telescopic-scoped deer rifles. </p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Around sundown, we set you up a couple a hundred yards away on a dirt road near my place, where I am known to walk, but there ain't no houses there, and seldom any people. You light a string of firecrackers, Zebras are the loudest, as I recall from my mispent childhood, and while they are exploding is where you shoot me in the back of the noggin, cause we don't want this to be any awful, lingering, painful shooting thing. Then, you slide your deer rifle down your pants leg and walk back to your pickup truck parked nearby on a gravel and tar road that don't flood and don't show tire tracks or footprints. </p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Reaching your redneck steed, you slide your trusty deer rifle under the front seat of your pickup and crank it up and head back toward NaGaRN country, bowing your head in reverence as you cross back over Seven Mile Bridge, which is where I relocated the Mason Dixon Line to about a decade ago. Sorry you now live in the Land of Northern Aggression, amigo, but it couldn't be helped after the invasion into your area of Indiana Regulars led by a certain half-breed trail of tears Cherokee woman who still has my heart hanging in her teepee, I'm afraid. </p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Whatever, not very likely any forensic types will figure out where that bullet was bought, or what rifle shot it, although the brands probably will be identifiable. And, since I have pissed off so many people down here, it ain't too terribly likely anyone down here will think to look north of Seven Mile Bridge for a multitude of the likely usual suspects. If they even care to look at all, as I ain't exactly endeared myself with the Sheriff Office down here, either. And, that will be who does the investigating, this being out in the county sticks and all, unless the Feds get interested, which I sort of doubt, given all the praise reports I have published about G.W. Bush and Barack H. Obama. </p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>If you is smart about it, though, you will fergit all about getting an interitance fee, as that might look sort of s'picious, me writing you into my will while you wuz driving down here to send me to be with 70 virgins, or at least a dozen :-). Safely back in North Georgia, you sometimes check out bigpinekey.com's Coconut Teleglraph online, to see what all sort of dumb-assed tongue-wagging and spekulating you done gone and caused down here.</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Burn this email, by the way.</p><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />
<p>Little Torture Key redneck
Sloan- Got a big chuckle out of your blog today…”Personally, I would like to be bumped off” ! Can you figure out a way I could do it and make you a martyr and me not get caught? Just leave me a small inheritance for my fee ! ! ! “ngahick”
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After deep meditation on the situation, I had a vision and replied earnestly to NaGA Hick:
Here’s how you can do it without getting caught. You tell your redneck missus and brood and buddies that you are going down to your place way out in the country, where you like to run your bulldozer, for a while. Instead, head on down here with one of your less-beloved, preferably most indistinct and oldest of your telescopic-scoped deer rifles. Around sundown, we set you up a couple a hundred yards away on a dirt road near my place, where I am known to walk, but there ain’t no houses there, and seldom any people. You light a string of firecrackers, Zebras are the loudest, as I recall from my misspent childhood, and while they are exploding is where you shoot me in the back of the noggin, cause we don’t want this to be any awful, lingering, painful torso-shooting thing. Then, you slide your deer rifle down your pants leg and walk back to your pickup truck parked nearby on a gravel and tar road that don’t flood and don’t show tire tracks or footprints. Reaching your redneck steed, you slide your trusty deer rifle under the front seat and crank it up and head back toward NaGaRN country, bowing your head in reverence as you cross back over Seven Mile Bridge, which is where I relocated the Mason Dixon Line to about a decade ago. Sorry you now live in the Land of Northern Aggression, amigo, but it couldn’t be helped after the invasion into your area of Indiana Regulars led by a certain half-breed trail of tears Cherokee woman who still has my heart hanging in her teepee, I’m afraid. Whatever, not very likely any forensic types will figure out where that bullet was bought, or what rifle shot it, although the brands probably will be identifiable. And, since I have pissed off so many people down here, it ain’t too terribly likely anyone down here will think to look north of Seven Mile Bridge for a multitude of the likely usual suspects. If they even care to look at all, as I ain’t exactly endeared myself with the Sheriff Office down here, either. And, that will be who does the investigating, this being out in the county sticks and all, unless the Feds get interested, which I sort of doubt, given all the praise reports I have published about G.W. Bush and Barack H. Obama. If you is smart about it, though, you will fergit all about getting an inheritance fee, as that might look sort of s’picious, me writing you into my will while you wuz driving down here to send me to be with 70 virgins, or at least a dozen :-) . Safely back in North Georgia, you sometimes check out bigpinekey.com’s Coconut Telegraph online, to see what all sort of dumb-assed tongue-wagging and spekulating you done gone and caused down here. Burn this email, by the way.
Little Torture Key redneck
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Down the Key West batshitcrazy hit parade way, via No Name Key, an article in The Key West Citizen today – www.keysnews.com – reports the Florida’s 3rd District Court of Appeals has ruled that the Florida Public Service Commission, not the Florida Courts, has jurisdiction to determine whether or not public electricity should be run out to No Name Key by Keys Energy Services. While that has to come as a major blow to the people on No Name Key, who want the island to remain off the grid, it also will come as a major blow to the City of Key West, which heretofore has told Keys Energy it could not trim trees back from powerlines in Old Town and other areas of the city where tourists like to go, because the city’s canopy is more important than trimming trees back from power lines. Sandy Downs told me that she’d had several conversations with the Public Service Commission about Keys Energy Services not trimming trees back from its power lines in Key West, and the Public Service Commission had told her that Keys Energy Services was a Key West City Utility Company over which the Commission had no jurisdiction and control. Stay tuned for further batshitcrazy developments on that topic.

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Also down the Key West batshitcrazy hit parade way is an article in The Key West Citizen today about Duck Tours, which sold its franchise to CityView Trolleys, now claiming CityView can’t run its amphibious ducks around Key West, because CityView did not pay Duck Tours for that privilege when it purchased Duck Tours franchise which allowed Duck Tours do do just that. I swan, that’s how the article reads to me. This is the same Duck Tours, which the City once put out of business at the behest of Historic Tours of America, which operates the Conch Trains and Old Town Trolleys. For which anti-trust activity, the City ultimately paid Duck Tours $6.5 million in damages, and some change, as I recall, after a lengthy litigation process; after Historic Tours of America already had settled with Duck Tours in a sealed settlement the details of which have not, to my knowledge, been publicly revealed. I have heard Historic Tours of America paid a million dollars, or so, for that settlement. CityView now has ten amphibious “ducks” and several Trolleys running around Key West, clogging city streets, competing with amphibious “ducks” and conch trains and trolleys operated by Historic Tours of America running around Key West, clogging city streets, and really pissing off folks living in Old Town neighborhoods over clogged streets and blaring loudspeakers self-appointed comedian tour vehicle drivers use to regale passengers all about what they are passing by, to get the tour drivers better tips, I suppose. Someone who runs for Mayor of Key West would make a lot of brownie points in the city by advocating the franchises with Historic Tours of America and CityView not be renewed, and the  congested city streets and neighborhoods thereby be freed of conch trains, trolleys and ducks altogether. Quack Quack.

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On the blackboard jungle batshitcrazy hit parade, School District freedom fighter Larry Murray tipped me off to two beauts in the most recent Keynoter – www.keysnet.com:

By SEAN KINNEY
Posted – Wednesday, February 06, 2013 09:40 AM EST
Recent scrutiny of the Monroe County School District’s waste, fraud and abuse hotline and Ken Gentile, the staff member who put it together, has revealed a system that, at best, functions poorly and is set up to ensure complaints against Gentile are not seen by his bosses. Gentile, formerly the chief internal auditor and now the director of finance, rolled out the anonymous hotline system in September 2011. Complaints, more than 70, were logged but rarely if investigated. When he unveiled the system, run by vendor EthicsPoint for $5,000 per year, Gentile assured the School Board, its Audit and Finance Committee and the media that complaints naming him would be channeled to the superintendent or board chairman. Instead, they went to Amy Reno, a part-time assistant interning with the district through Florida Keys Community College. She wasn’t even working anymore when the hotline went active. Gentile hasn’t offered any reason for why Reno was involved even though on April 21, 2011, he set her up as an EthicsPoint user, according to district e-mails obtained through a public records request. Initially, Gentile said, “The reports should have been channeled to the board chairman. This was an instruction given to the vendor. I am investigating with the vendor why this was not accomplished.” Asked how his investigation was progressing, last week Gentile said: “The contact at EthicsPoint went on vacation. He was going to look into why this happened. Amy was a temporary employee and [it] would not have been the appropriate recipient for these types of reports at all.” The Gentile-specific complaints allege, among other things, that he asked other employees to get on their knees and pray — something he vehemently denies. The issue arose in October when Big Pine Key resident Larry Murray, a former member of the Audit and Finance Committee and unsuccessful School Board candidate, asked to see the reports generated through the hotline. After three months of asking for and not getting them, some of them were finally released last month. Reno, who has since moved out of the Keys, was dismayed by the situation after learning of it through friends and media reports. “This is making me look bad,” she said. “I had no responsibilities or action on this. I had no idea what as going on. I did what was asked of me.” Superintendent Mark Porter is working with district legal counsel on his next move. “I don’t have any conclusions. It’s more than just reading e-mails. I continue to work with [attorney] Dirk Smits on our assessment and evaluation.” Asked if he’s considered suspending or reassigning Gentile, Porter said, “I think it would be premature to take that step.” In the meantime, Gentile’s three-year contract, worth $122,000 per year, expires in April. Porter hasn’t taken any steps to advertise the job or otherwise solicit a replacement.
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School Board has to hold someone accountable
Posted – Wednesday, February 06, 2013 11:00 AM EST
Can someone explain why no one has been held accountable for the disaster that’s the ongoing reconstruction of Horace O’Bryant Middle School in Key West? Because with seemingly each month sprouting a new problem — and new costs — no one has been called upon to answer for the mistakes. Not the architect, Rick Smith of Tampa; not the contractor, Coastal Construction; not the principal who’s part of the “construction team,” Mike Henriquez; not anyone in the district’s Facilities and Construction Department; and not Superintendent Mark Porter, who’s should be asking the hard questions but isn’t. From the beginning in 2010, the rebuild of the school on Leon Street has been on a fast track because then-Superintendent Joe Burke secured a federal loan for it — but it has a deadline attached. And if the $38 million school isn’t complete by June, the Monroe County School District faces the prospect of even more costs — fines starting at $2 million. First there was the discovery — by a Keynoter reporter who happened to actually look at the building — that the first phase of construction had the new school at 56 feet tall, more than double Key West’s 25-foot height limit for buildings in that neighborhood. Did no one check this most basic requirement? That led to emergency redesign for the rest of the school, and “mitigation” talks with the city that didn’t mean anything. Then there was the discovery in early 2012 that soil at the construction site was contaminated and couldn’t hold the weight of the building, leading to a $400,000 bill to remove it by the truckloads. Did no one do an environmental assessment, which is required for pretty much everything in the Keys? And then the kicker — if there isn’t another one just waiting around the corner: No one seemed to know that in any construction, there’s a 1990 law to be followed called the Americans with Disabilities Act, which requires accessibility for the handicapped. A parking lot at Horace O’Bryant was designed not taking the ADA into account — so another $350,000 needs to be spent to come into compliance. Meanwhile, Henriquez apparently is approving change orders at the school on his own whim, never mind that his background is not in construction. Repeatedly asked about this, he has refused to talk. It’s time for the School Board to demand answers. Call in the architect Smith. Call in Coastal Construction officials. Call in everyone — past and present — from the Facilities and Construction Department who had a hand in this. Call in former superintendents Burke and Jesus Jara. Call in Henriquez. Call them all in at a widely publicized public meeting — not a regular School Board meeting — and demand answers. Because so far, the public hasn’t gotten any.
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I beg your pardon? If you have attended even one School Board meeting, you know they and the School District have no clue what holding someone accountable means; and you know they are adept at pointing the finger elsewhere, sticking their heads where the sun don’t shine, and saying things that dodge saying anything.
I saw at candidate forums last year, that the audiences and the other candidates did not believe me when I said the School District was terminally dysfunctionally insane; but, by golly, that did not deter the School Board and the School District from going whole hog to prove it.
lipstick on a pig
Sloan Bashinsky

About Sloan

Darn, that would take a while. Try the autobiographical pages in the header. Ditto for header menu pages at www.goodmorningbirmingham.com. Hatched and raised there, eventually I ran away from home. Here's a short list: Born 1942; male; single; accused of all sorts of imaginable and unimaginable things, perhaps some true. Live on Key West of Weird asteroid. Publish something most days on this website, been at that since July 2007. That's heaps of catch-up reading, probably not recommended.
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