What, a candidate who does verse?
No, way, hosea –
Get outta here!
We don’t need no candidate poets.
We need social terrorists
to scare the politicians and crooks away!
Terrorists who prove each day
The pen is mightier than the sword,
Thus the sword defends the pen.
Amen
Thus fell out of me yesterday a call to arms for this campaign season in the Keys, and who knows, maybe across America. Fortunately, for me, I am not cursed with having to deal much with the national political scene. Unfortunately, for me, I am cursed with having to deal plenty with the local political scene. I leave for other Keys people to decide whether that is fortunate or unfortunate for them. My job simply is to do what I can to scare the local politicians and crooks away, and welcome others to do the same.
The front page of this week’s issue of Key West the Newspaper (kwtn.com) features two Category 5 hurricane alerts.
The first is a continuation of the hurricane Sheriff Captain Bob Peryam invented all by his lonesome, then pretended like he never had anything to do with it, and got a bunch of his buddies at the Monroe County Sheriff Office and the Keynoter and Key West Citizen newspapers, and “High Road” White, a paid campaign consultant, to make out like it was all made up by conspiracy freaks, lunatics and muckrakers. Actually, it was the alleged conspiracy freaks, lunatics and muckrakers, KWTN’s Publisher and Editor, Dennis Reeves Cooper, and sheriff candidate, Sandra Downs, who felt the lead winds of Hurricane Bob and sent out the early-warning evacuation advisories, which some folks heard and heeded. Others took the high road, by sticking their heads deep down in the sand and pretending there was no hurricane at all. They slammed Sandy and Dennis, and praised other sheriff candidates who had taken the high road just described. One of those praised candidates is quoted in this week’s Hurricane Bob alert as agreeing with the accused conspiracy freaks, lunatics and muckrakers, adding to the tsunami of evidence that the real conspiracy freaks, lunatics and muckrakers are Captain Bob Peryam & Crew, which is what I had thought all along.
The second Cat 5 alert is a fictional account of a Category 5 hurricane land-falling at Key West, then migrating up the Keys to the mainland. This stormy what-if tale is so well done that I’ll not spoil it by telling any of the details, other than to say a whole lot of folks had grown weary of evacuating at the sign of approaching hurricanes that never showed up, so they, and a heap of partying tourists, didn’t evacuate, and the big one showed up. What stayed in my thoughts the entire time I read this gripping tale was being glad I don’t have to pay attention to hurricane alerts put out by the weather seers, or evacuation orders issued by the political gods. I don’t pay attention to them, because I pay attention to the weather bureau in my dreams. If it doesn’t tell me to evacuate, I stay. If tells me to leave, I vamanos myself to the mainland, after posting an evacuation order to goodmorningfloridakeys.com, goodmorningkeywest.com, bigpinekey.com and my email contacts list. Conspiracy theorists, lunatics and muckrakers probably will ignore me, while others will take flight because the big one really is coming in to take the Keys back to the Stone Age, as described in the second hurricane alert in this week’s Key West the Newspaper.
As for the first Cat 5 alert, Hurricane Bob has only just begun to wend his twisted tale, and his buddies in the Monroe County Sheriff’s Office and at the Keynoter and Key West Citizen, and his high-priced whore, “High Road” White, aren’t going to be able to do a darn thing to stop it. Not a darn thing. Bob is going to hit them like the 1935 “Loop Hurricane” that leveled Marathon from out of the blue. The sad thing is, other political hatchlings should have warned Bob & Crew, but they wuz too busy politicking the high road deep down under the sand to issue the alert.
As Dennis Reeves Cooper likes to say, stay tuned . . .
Sloan Bashinsky, non-partisan county commission candidate, District 3
Political advertisement, in your dreams, written, borrowed, paid for and approved by just another weatherman . . .